WHEW! Whadda night!

I am so thrilled with my performance last night on "Dancing With The Stars"! Did you see those moves? If you did I hope you voted for me. I am not below begging for some votes - its what a democracy is all about! Kept my hip in check too. Ouch.

Not only that, I also showed some ass last night too!! You see that? If you didn't vote for my dancing, vote for my ass cheek - complete with scars from my stitches. Ladies - you turned on by that?? WOOHOO! It is not everyday you can show your ass on national television. My only wish was that it was in high definition. I definitely have a HD worthy ass and 1080p is the minimal viewing experience for it. Ya gotta see my little ass hairs standing up from the excitement of having hundreds of thousands of people staring at my butt.

I must admit though I have gotten swamped with negative emails about me wearing a homeless or beggars outfit on the show. RELAX FOLKS. The song was all about that very topic! What? Did you want me to wear my Dior Tux for the song? C'mon get real. Besides I wasn't always rich. But I am now. :-)

How about that Kym? Get your mind out of the gutter guys. She is a nice girl and my better half fully approves of the competition. Right honey? She's right here beside me as I type. Oop. Gotta go. Touchy subject I guess... Call 911 if I don't post by tomorrow...